I Love The 90's!

So I’ve been tagged by Jen to come up with a list of things that I miss about my childhood. HA! I can’t think of anything easier to do, other than finding Paris Hilton’s boobies on the Internet. You’re talking to a guy who swears allegiance to the best decade ever. You’re talking to a guy who can name every cartoon on from 3-5 pm when I was in Grade 4. You’re talking to a guy who still owns a pair of Dr. Martens (alright, I made that last one up).

We’ll skip my formative years (1-9) and focus on the time when I actually had a brain. Yes, that’s the one the only

The Rockin’ 90’s.

If I had my way, this would be a 5,000 word column about the joys of 90’s Rock and make a 10,000 word column on why cartoons where way better before than now. As it is , us living in the 21^st centur have short attention spans so I’ll give my short version of the 5 things I miss in no particular order.

1. The Music.

This is too easy. Name me one classic rock tune to come out last year. Something that radio stations will be playing when I’m 30 and have 2 kids. That’s right. None of them. A disturbing trend, to be sure. Yet right now, rock radio continues to spin Nirvana’s Smells Like Teen Spirit, Pearl Jam’s Alive, Jeremy, Even flow triumvirate even when they’ve released 5 albums after the first one. Nine Inch Nail’s Closer, even when Reznor’s made 3 albums and gone through 20 band members. Red Hot Chili Peppers Under The Bridge. That’s not counting Hip-Hop stations still mixing in some California Love, Juicy, and Nothin’ But A G Thang. Pop radio’s Madonna fixation. Britney, Britney, Britney pre-pregnancy and pre-hick husband. Dave Matthews Band’s Crash. The only person in this decade that has a chance to become timeless is Kanye West. Where halfway there so there is still time.

But I’m not going to rag on today’s music too much since the technology and sound has improved. I’ll give it that. It’s just that the quality of tunes has steadily dropped. Sad.

2. The Cartoons.

This is another sore spot. I love cartoons. The Simpsons doesn’t count since that show doesn’t look like it’s going to end. But everything sucks. Justice League had a chance but they fell into the same trouble that the comic got into. They diverted away from the original 7 and kept adding more and more and more until the great chemistry between the 7 was gone. Everyone was fighting for air time. It’s ridiculous. Who cares about the Booster Gold and Blue Beetle? That was a bad idea in the comic, why repeat it? And the thing that really gets on my nerves about that show; Green Lantern is black. WTF? Now, granted, the Green Lantern in the show is a legit character. There really is a black Green Lantern BUT HE WASN'T PART OF THE TEAM AND IS NOT EVEN THE POPULAR ONE! Can you say token? This was terrible. Memo to DC, if you don't to seem like your racist, then you SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT 30 YEARS AGO!

This turned into a rant so I’ll just roll off the reasons why cartoons were far superior before: G.I. Joe, Transformers, Mask (not the green guy), Thundercats, Flintstones, Jetsons, Scooby-Doo, Bugs Bunny, Inhumanoids, the Hanna Barbera cartoons, Battle Of The Planets, Shaider, Voltes V, Daimos, Garfield and Friends, Sesame Street, Alvin, Simon, Theodore! Popeye, Denver the Last Dinosaur, The Care Bears, Voltron, He-Man, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Yogi Bear, Winnie The Pooh….

I guarantee you right now in some channel or some home someone is watching a taped VCR of one of the episodes of one of these shows. None of the cartoons now can hold a candle to these guys. Has there been anything more cheesy and unintentionally funny and timeless as the Public Service Announcements on G.I.Joe?

I’ll spare you the movies since I’m going to make the same argument. And besides, the Sports Guy (the reader asking about Karate Kid) makes a better argument on this topic than I could.

3. Kids Games.

I miss this. More than anything. I’ll trade my video games straight-up for the chance to play Moro-Moro one more time. To refresh your memory, Moro-Moro involves two teams. The more in the team the merrier. Each team picks a base in the playground and they have to defend that base. If someone from the other team touches your base, your team loses. Every kid then runs around trying to lure more defenders out of the base to have a better shot of taking the base. If your caught by the enemy you have to stay on their base as a “prisoner”. To be the catcher or catch-ee depends on how long you’ve stayed away from the base. Someone who just ran out of the base can catch a person who’s been out longer without going back. My favorite part is when every prisoner stretches out and forms a huge line connected to the base to have an easier target for their team to touch the base (coz they’re all connected, see?) Trust me, nothing says unity when 10 kids hold hands and stretch out of the base to have that guy have a shot of touching the base. It’s beautiful and very, very funny to watch. Much more funny than alerting the opposition that your moving to another base (Lipat Base! Lipat Base!) sigh. Those were the days. It also provided an excellent excuse to touch your “crush”. Ah to be young.

4. School

Not the institution, but the people around you. The laughs at the expense of others. Forming bonds and friendship. Meeting great teachers, laughing at funny ones and pissing off the others. Having seat arrangements based on last name, first name, birthday, favorite color. Being moved because you talk too much. Talking through class, sleeping through class, copying homework, cheating on exams. All these things make school so fun. Oh, and I heard you even might learn a thing or two.

5. Innocent and Care Free Life.

Isn’t this what this whole exercise is about? The chance to relive a day when we didn’t have a care in the world.

I had fun. But now, it’s time to come back to reality and face work, bills, and the like. It was great to be diverted for awhile but the sad reality is that those days are gone. Even if I keep harping on the joys of yester-year, today’s not so bad either. So while those days may be over they’re surely not forgotten. Hope this satisfies, Jen.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to finish watching my G.I.Joe DVD.

Good Times At Poppy Hills

I was standing
All alone against the world outside
You were searching
For a place to hide.

I was sitting in the cart, after another crappy shot when my buddy started singing those lines. I looked at him like he’d gone insane. He says it helps to relax. I thought about it for a second. It just might be crazy enough to work.

Lost and lonely
Now you’ve given me the will to survive
When we’re hungry
Love will keep us alive.

I hit a bunch more crappy shots after this in my very first tournament play (and second round of golf). But it helped to put things in perspective. I knew I wasn’t going to win unless I played waaaaaay over my head. But you couldn’t tell after the first few holes. Too uptight, too tense. Like I wanted every shot to be perfect and got down if it didn’t. But after that funny (trust me it was) bit of singing, I remembered why I was there in the first place. To have fun. So no matter how many times I ended up to the right with the trees, no matter how many times I hit a ball 20 feet away, out of bounds, whiffs, and every other bad thing you can think of. After all the bad plays, I got back in the cart, chugged my beer and laughed it off. I ended up hitting a 128, the highest among everyone who played (even the women). But I had a blast and that’s the only reason I’m playing.

Hole	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
White Tees Yards	390	142	369	513	381	149	351	370	496	3161
Par	4	3	4	5	4	3	4	4	5	36
Me	8	5	9	10	5	7	7	9	7	67
Hole	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18
White Tees Yards	472	163	502	377	385	175	402	126	474	3076
Par	5	3	5	4	4	3	4	3	5	36
Me	7	5	12	7	6	4	7	5	8	61
										128

Thought I’d save you the blow-by-blow, golf lingo and the like. This is my round, in a nutshell. Singing in the cart and laughing so hard when we drove the cart all over the course that we almost rolled over. My buddy was just a maniac driving. We were both looking for our golf balls and drove around the area were we thought they were. It was hilly and he drove that cart full speed up and down those hills that I almost fell when he veered it to the left. By the time he stopped I was on my knees on the ground, laughing and dizzy as hell.

These are the things I’ll remember most. More than the shots I made.

Quickies

I feel bad. This post was supposed to be a post on the tournament round I played on Saturday at Poppy Hills. But I left the scorecard at the clubhouse and have not received the official one form the director. Actually, I have a lot of excuses why I'm not writing it yet. Lazy, more than anything. I'll have it out eventually.

So without that, this will be quick.

Swings coming along. The next tournament is at Black Horse on July 9. Hope it goes along better than last Saturday.

Links, links, links. I visit this site everyday. Initially for the naked celebs, but mostly to discover cool links on the internet. Check out the video library and try to find the Chapelle show skit on Samuel Jackson. Please.

This article would have been real interesting... 6 years ago.

This.. I don't know it's just weird. That's like a swimmer getting kicked out the team for fear of drowning.

Finally, Grandma just underwent a dialysis to clear out the kidney's. Long story on this one but I'm too drunk to tell it. Maybe some other time. Wish her well and comfort.

And to you that had to read this junk, have a great weekend!

Positivity And Negativity

News out of the homeland with that whole wiretap scandal involving the beloved President (note sarcasm) and the COMELEC commisioner. Apparently the military tapped into calls made by the commisioner during the 2004 presidential elections, and found a lot of dirt. If true (I'm giving them the benefit of the doubt, but c'mon) not only will this rock the political climate of the country, it will gave anybody who scoffed at notions of conspiracies something to think about. This is the closest the Philippines has ever gotten to proving widespread corruption persists in our government. Not since Watergate has there been such insider access to the hidden world of elections and government corruption given to the public. Whispers of this stuff happening are so pervalent in our culture, it's long ago been known that the winner of elections is not the most beloved but the richest. Sad. And like Watergate, this story has it's own version of "Deep Throat", yet this secret did not take 30+ years to uncover. It would not surprise me at all if this guy was found dead on the outskirts of the city in about a week or two.

Stories like this will never reach the public if it is buried with enough money, favors and gifts.

Related anecdote: My grandfather used to be the mayor of a small provincial town in the upper Philippines called Bayombong. He won the first time he ran for office and lost his re-election bid; twice. During those two times that he tried to get re-elected, I heard my Dad (who of course was helping out) on the phone all the time talk about guarding the ballot boxes before during and after people elected. The candidate that we were up against was the richest in town and had a lot of influence. The first time we tried to get re-elected, my grandfather's party spent most of the budget on throwing parties for the townfolk and giving medicine, giving free medical check ups, etc. When that didn't work, they spent almost all of the budget hiring bodyguards with guns, ballot watchers and handlers. Yet we still lost. I remember, after the second election, going up to Bayombong during All Saints Day with my Dad. We had just lost and apparently the winner kicked my whole family out of town for something. We stayed there for barely a day. the trip was longer than the stay. And all the time, I remember sitting beside a guy in the car I barely knew with a semi-automatic on his right hand, just out of sight from me but visible when we hit bumps, and a .45 on his left side, brushing against my arm when we make turns. I was barely 15. I'm guessing my Mom got pissed at that.

So, does this little bursh with controversy teach anything to the leaders of my homeland? Yes. Always remember to pay the bills.

Whew, that was a mouthful and a load to take. On to something a little more positive. I hope that this bit of news has already reached you since it came out last week. If not, then please please please take the time to read Alicia's story over in www.sfgate.com. Great, inspiring, funny and honest read. I won't spoil it. Just to say that it took 7 days and multiple chapters to publish but it'll hook you on the first page. I'm not even done with it but it's highly recommended. If there's one thing you have to read on the net, it's this. And if nothing else, she's a pretty good writer.

This saturday will be the first golf tournament I'll be playing. It'll be at Poppy Hills and hopefully I can remember to bring my notebook and give a hole by hole diary. This should be fun. I've been practicing everyday and will have one more instructor lesson tomorrow to work on the driver and woods. This course is real long and I have no faith in those clubs so I need this to have a decent day.

What else, what else. If you want to read the wiretap trasnscipts, I've got a copy and www.philstar.com has one too. They also have audio but it's nearly three hours. And trust me, you'd want to read Alicia's story more than hear that negativity. They even have audio released from the president's office of the "real" tape. The "" thing is my opinion. And if you're interested in this story as it develops, check back into philstar and stay away from the Inquirer. Their coverage is so bad, you'd think they were in the president's payroll. Are they republican like Fox News? I'm not in that loop so correct me if I'm wrong but I just found the Star's articles and coverage more detailed and well, more. As a side note, apparently not only presidents are prone to wiretapping and government snooping. So are we. And some good news on the downfall of corporate monopolies. I checked an old entry here about this topic and apparently it is truly great progress. Firefox rules! IE sucks! I need to work on my rally cries.

Finally, my Lola's doing ok. She's at home now but still on a feeding tube and receiving dialysis for her kidney. She's seeing a specialist because that's where they think the bleeding originated from. I wish her the best, hope she does ok and never loses that will to live.

Because even if this place we live in can be crappy at times, I think it's still worth fighting for.

Months In The Making

My first weekend post! (balloons, confetti drop as if on cue)

Never wanted to write posts on the weekend since this is the time when we are supposed to unwind and do personal stuff (stuff to write about :D ) So this is the first and last of it's kind. Or, as they say in comic book talk, a "Collectors Edition". So bookmark this and tell your kids you read morpheus' first and only weekend edition.

Now for the reason for this garbage. After months of work and more months of putting off, I finally finished Sleight of Hand. It's now available in Fictionpress.com (cheap plug!) for your reading and viewing pleasure. Took me forever but I finally nailed it down to something respectable. Here it is and enjoy.

Until next time!

Hey, I never said this would be a long post.

Just Wheezing My Way...

I found myself back at a very familiar place. Somewhere I haven't been in awhile. With a round object in my hand, I put it over my head and try to shoot it at a target that is about a couple of inches bigger than the ball in my hand. I'm talking about the basketball court. Now, me being a daily smoker, I'd just like to say that if one is not used to running around the court at all times, one will surely be gasping for air and clutching their calves because of cramps, like I did. And, everything they ever told you about stamina and smoking is true, provided that it's not an every day thing. I know, because I still feel exhausted right now. It was fun though, to get back to playing after a long while. My back's not feeling good right now and my thighs feel like breaking off every time I climb stairs but it was great to do something from way back. Makes me sound old, that last sentence so let's just move on.

A couple of hours ago, I was at a mom and pop watch store. My watch ran out of batteries so I came there to get them fixed. The owner was an old man that has run the store since the beginning of time. The lady helping him looks like she came right after the Big Bang. ( I kid, I kid because I care. I love to patronize mom and pop shops. Down with corporations!!!!!) Anyway, while I was waiting, I noticed an exquisite wall clock. It looked like a big plate that got bar-b-q'd in the grill and the middle being burnt paper. My graphical presentation sucks but just trust me in saying that it was nice. Anyway, I looked at another clock in front of me that looked a bit more mondern and another one to my right. Then I noticed something odd. The time said 10:10 on the old burnt clock. Then I looked at the modern one and it said 12:50, which was indeed the correct time. I turned to look again at the clock to my right and it said 10:10. Aside from some other watches on the display (might have been tried on by customers) all the clocks and watches at the store had a time of 10:10. This really piqued my curiosity so I mustered up enough courage to ask the owner. Just as I was about to ask, I pictured myself asking them and got this response.

Old Man: (Pulling out a 12-gauge shotgun and pointing at me) Martha he knows!!!

Old Lady: (Running from the back and aiming the .45 at me) We should shoot him!!

Me: (Whimpering)

Quite an imagination. So I took my watches and paid the man and left. Maybe next time (pardon the pun) I'll ask. But I'll be damn sure to pack my own heat.

Finally, some links to sort through whenever you feel bored. Here's a blog called Postsecret which is getting some notoriety. I've gone through almost all of them. It's pretty interesting. Also, head on over to the Neil Gaiman Blog link for all you guys in the Philippines. He just posted his schedule of appearances. And some guy suggested he leave his trademark leather jacket. Sorry that was funny only to me.

Long Weekend

When I said I’d have a new post by Wednesday, I meant my time. Right now it’s 10:38 at night so I have about an hour and a half to knock this down.

What a long holiday weekend this was. I took the extra day off to play my first round of golf on the course with my buddy and his buddy. Before that, I bought a new bed because my Mom wanted one. Her Christmas gift came in early which I get to benefit too. Bought some other stuff too but we’ll get to that later.

So we were at a place called Monterey Pines, south of San Jose. It was an hour away, which I found out after I got there. Needless to say, I was late. By the time I got there, they were all waiting for me to start the round. My plea to warm up on the range was for naught. That’s like getting up from bed in the morning and driving straight to work; no bath, no coffee. So on my first few holes, I’d have to warm up. Not good.

Small anecdote here. We were playing with a guy named H. I mention to him after we were introduced that I only knew two people in the world called H and he was one of them. He mentions that he knows three people called H. Huh? Isn’t one enough? Can I just start calling myself R? I thought the one name fad was ridiculous but this was worse.

I’ll actually spare you the hole-by-hole diary, as I promised since I forgot to bring my ole’ notebook and a pen. But don’t worry, nothing worth writing home about save for a few shots. I did make 2 pars which was a personal highlight. There was a few times where I felt rushed because everybody would just stand on the ball and hit. I can’t do that and just rushed everything. Even whiffed on a few. Other times, I actually get a real good hit on a ball, leading to this exchange

Buddy: Nice shot.

Me: Thanks

B: Sometimes, you have your moments of brilliance.

M: Yeah, other times I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing.

That pretty summed up my day. For the interested, I scored a 118 on a par 72 course. Not bad, I guess. Could be better. But it was my first experience so I digress. Here’s my score. Notice the one's in red (Sometimes we just have to pat ourselves in the back)

Hole	1	2	3	4	5	6	7	8	9
Blue Tees Yards	352	151	356	193	364	338	490	326	399	2969
Par	4	3	4	3	4	4	5	4	4	35
Me	8	4	10	6	7	5	9	5	7	61
Hole	10	11	12	13	14	15	16	17	18
Blue tee Yards	433	138	156	461	374	252	140	168	538	2660
Par	4	3	3	5	4	4	3	3	5	34
Me	5	6	8	5	8	4	5	6	10	57
										118

(Note: At this point, I actually crashed and slept and did not get the chance to finish. I just cannot make a deadline to save my life.)

After the game, while we were eating lunch, my buddy mentions a place near the course that sells clubs at real good prices. So I decided to check it out on the way home. It was early and I had no intention of crossing the mountains yet. Once there, I found the clubs that I initially wanted for an OK price for second hand clubs. But for a hundred bucks more, I found the second clubs I wanted. These were new though and had no nicks and scratches, unlike the other ones. After an hour, I had just spent over 500 for a bag, some covers and a full set of new irons. If anybody ever tells you how golf is a great game but a ridiculously expensive hobby, just nod. Trust Me. Anyway I went waaaaaay over budget (my “budget” was 100-200 for a full set) but I did have a great big ole’ smile that was hard to knock off. (Note: It’s been two days since I bought it and I couldn’t be happier. Just thought I’d throw that in there.) Like any child, you can’t help but play with new toys right away. Ignoring my aching legs (walking) and back (hitting), I went to the range to hit a couple/show off to my friends (bad habits are hard to break). All in all, I now pronounce the day after Memorial Day as Golf Day.

So, between the clubs and the bed, I just spent a ton of money this weekend. So much for moving to NY.