I’m here to vent.
I always thought it would be bad to stay out of the dating game for too long. It’s like anything that we do for a long time then stop for awhile then try and come back. Even MJ was rusty when he came back from his first retirement (the short lived “45” era). Well, I thought it would be different when you’re introduced to someone you like. Being away from the game for so long, I had doubts. Ever the stereotypical male, that was quickly shooed away by arrogant confidence in ones ability, existing or not. Or, in plain English, piece of cake. Right.
There’s this girl. My family knew her family. I, mistakenly and not knowing that fact, made a comment at a party way back that she was cute. Multiple parties and lots of unwanted adult help later, here I was standing with my aunt, in front of the girl eating with her mom, being introduced. As I typed that sentence, I was shivering with horror, ready to puke. I can’t believe that happened. Instead of, “Hi this is my nephew Ryan” she should have just said “hi this is Ryan, he’s really into you” and gotten it over with. Then I could have shot myself then and there. It’s basically the same thing.
But I digress, that’s not the point of this. I just wanted to set it up. Like I told my cousin just now, I have a million things I said that I want to take back and make better.
She was nice. She was so nice I felt that she was playing along. She asked “So, what’s the reason we got introduced?” What the hell do you say to that? I just tried to be funny and made a crack about my family being drunk. We had nothing in common, I felt I made her laugh about 2 out of 10 times I made a joke (BTW ladies, is that a bad ratio? Do you have to laugh at every line guys make to like them, or what’s the deal?) And the worst part is, our families were 20 feet away probably gawking at us and talking shit. Awkward doesn’t begin to describe the situation. But I tried to make do, mostly because she was a 9 out of 10. She was worth the embarrassment. I just felt bad about my performance overall. She sometimes seemed disinterested and apathetic. Then again, I couldn’t believe we lasted an hour talking. At the beginning, I asked her why she looked down, eating by herself. She came back with how she liked eating by herself. I said “oh ok” and started to get up. Then she said “no no, that’s ok”. Highlight of the night. I realize she probably didn’t want to embarrass us in front of the families, but can I just have this one?
We talked and shot the breeze. For someone disinterested, she did a lot of talking. So for awhile, I thought I was doing ok and not making an idiot of myself. Then she asked about this race series in San Jose. We basically trashed the idea because they were going to take up a lot of downtown San Jose and turn it into a race track. I said I couldn’t believe what they were doing. And I’d have to make other arrangements to get to work. Then she said, “but the race is on Sunday”. Strike one two three your out!!
Thinking back now, it could have gone worse. But it turned out bad, which is probably ok given the circumstances. I may not be able to talk to her for a awhile or ever again, but I learned a valuable lesson. I’m rusty and I need to get my mojo back.
