Motivation

I’ve divulged my plans for the move to New York. I figured I’d put everything on here to remind me what to do. I even mentioned briefly why I’m doing this. Here is the rest.

I’m in the state of mind right now where every day we come closer to the end of the story we call our life. Whether that is 60 years from now or 60 minutes, the clock is ticking. And it isn’t going back up. Unless you’re as smart as Dexter and can build a time machine from your hidden LAB-oo-ratory. But for us normal folk, that clock’s on the downward spiral. Tick, tick, tick….

Well before that clock stops, I want to have done everything I want to do. Up until now, I’ve been blessed to lead a life that affords me the freedom to think, be and say what I will. But, us humans aren’t built to be content. Since I got here, I feel that some times I’ve progressed and matured as a person; but for the most part it’s regressed. I’m tired of regressing. I want…no, I need to feel alive. We as people that walk this path called life have the desire to live to the utmost. I’m no different than you, or you. I’m just doing something about it instead of closing my eyes and dreaming or living vicariously through the Olsen twins.

Some have different ideas or opinions about “living to the utmost”. Mine is pretty simple. I just want to be able to do as much as I can and experience the most that I’m able to. I want to wake up and be happy that I’m alive. Warm blood flowing through my veins instead of the ice cold, robot like feeling of nothingness. Does that mean all roses and daisies? Of course not. But that’s the beauty of living life. It’s not Spring every day. It won’t rain all the time either. To me, it could be as simple as picking up a new hobby or as life altering as, well, Operation: Big Apple.

Will moving to New York help in any way? Yes, I believe so. I’m of the opinion that any place where I won’t have to answer to a Mom or Aunts will help. I’m of the opinion that any place I can be myself and take care of myself will only be helpful. Any place where you can start over new, in a city that is alive 24/7 will make you stronger inside. Independence breeds a strong will. And if nothing else, I’ve got family there to fall back on. A safety net, if you will.

Does that mean I’m a miserable loser right now? Sometimes that description is dead on. But I’m also a believer of small blessings. And yet, when have we ever as humans felt contentment? That’s right, when were six feet under. I’m hoping that moving will be the kick start I need.