Valentine's Day for All
Happy Valentine's day to all! I also mean you, lonely boy/girl. Jealous of all the people in line to buy candies and flowers for their loved ones? You don't have to be. Valentine's doesn't necessarily mean you have to have a honey-bun to enjoy the day. You also don't have to be a pessimist and kill-joy and say "Valentine's day are for wussies." This is the day of love. You can love a myriad of other things, not just the opposite sex. Or same sex, if that floats your boat. Here now I present to you things to love on Valentine's day!
Love thy neighbor. Duh. That was easy. But if you're really longing for some loving, or want to do something sweet, send your neighbor some dessert. Or anything just to say hi and "happy valentine's!" They'll love you for it. And maybe even forget that you borrowed the vacuum and haven't returned it.
Love thy family. Another easy one. Give them a call. See how they are. Send your Mom and Dad a card or just take them out to dinner, if they don't have plans. Say hi to the brother and sister. Send them chocoloates. If you're a guy and you have brothers, just give a quick hi and how you doing. Don't try and feed them the whole happy valentine line and stuff. They might look at you weird. Girls, try and be nice to little sister ok?
Love thy stuff. My favorite for the romantically challenged. No date tonight? Easy. Just drop a few hundred bucks on that brand spankin' new HDTV. You'll feel better until you see your bill. Strapped for cash? Maybe it's time you checked out your classic stuff that's been sitting in your house and reconnect. Old tapes, classic CD's, that new thingie majig you bought on TV but never used. Works wonders until you start thinking what a loser you are. If that's the case stop right away and take a swig of ol' Johnny Walker. But for the most part, it never happens that way. If you're a gee.. well that's too harsh. Let me try that again. If your a different kind. Ah! Well then maybe you should spend Valentine's watching the old Star Wars trilogy and re-enact every scene while watching. Or practice your Magic cards strategy by your self and updating your website with your new discoveries. Or just chat with fellow ge... different people and analyze the holes in the time space continuum of the different Star Trek series. Or maybe just write a blog. Whoops! that was too depressing. Let's just move on.
Love thy TV. I feel sorry for you if you don't have cable. Basic cable, at least. There a ton of shows that they will televise for the stay-at-home crowd. I'll let you click away and decide for yourself.
Love thy Computer. I've no comment on this.
Love thy work. No plans tonight? Nothing good to watch on TV? Then why don't you just do what every other single, no valentine guy or gal that has a job and is paid hourly do; Work overtime! Then you can have more money come payday to spend on things you don't need which will give you a false sense of accomplishment for a couple of hours until you realize you have no love life. But hey! at least you now have something to come back to next Valentine!
Well, there you have it. For the people that have a romantic valentine all set up, God bless you and may you have a wonderful dinner that is ridiculously expensive, a movie with bad popcorn and safe sex tonight. For the rest of you, follow my advice and you may get through the night without crying yourself to sleep.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to time out and catch wrestling on at 9.
Love thy neighbor. Duh. That was easy. But if you're really longing for some loving, or want to do something sweet, send your neighbor some dessert. Or anything just to say hi and "happy valentine's!" They'll love you for it. And maybe even forget that you borrowed the vacuum and haven't returned it.
Love thy family. Another easy one. Give them a call. See how they are. Send your Mom and Dad a card or just take them out to dinner, if they don't have plans. Say hi to the brother and sister. Send them chocoloates. If you're a guy and you have brothers, just give a quick hi and how you doing. Don't try and feed them the whole happy valentine line and stuff. They might look at you weird. Girls, try and be nice to little sister ok?
Love thy stuff. My favorite for the romantically challenged. No date tonight? Easy. Just drop a few hundred bucks on that brand spankin' new HDTV. You'll feel better until you see your bill. Strapped for cash? Maybe it's time you checked out your classic stuff that's been sitting in your house and reconnect. Old tapes, classic CD's, that new thingie majig you bought on TV but never used. Works wonders until you start thinking what a loser you are. If that's the case stop right away and take a swig of ol' Johnny Walker. But for the most part, it never happens that way. If you're a gee.. well that's too harsh. Let me try that again. If your a different kind. Ah! Well then maybe you should spend Valentine's watching the old Star Wars trilogy and re-enact every scene while watching. Or practice your Magic cards strategy by your self and updating your website with your new discoveries. Or just chat with fellow ge... different people and analyze the holes in the time space continuum of the different Star Trek series. Or maybe just write a blog. Whoops! that was too depressing. Let's just move on.
Love thy TV. I feel sorry for you if you don't have cable. Basic cable, at least. There a ton of shows that they will televise for the stay-at-home crowd. I'll let you click away and decide for yourself.
Love thy Computer. I've no comment on this.
Love thy work. No plans tonight? Nothing good to watch on TV? Then why don't you just do what every other single, no valentine guy or gal that has a job and is paid hourly do; Work overtime! Then you can have more money come payday to spend on things you don't need which will give you a false sense of accomplishment for a couple of hours until you realize you have no love life. But hey! at least you now have something to come back to next Valentine!
Well, there you have it. For the people that have a romantic valentine all set up, God bless you and may you have a wonderful dinner that is ridiculously expensive, a movie with bad popcorn and safe sex tonight. For the rest of you, follow my advice and you may get through the night without crying yourself to sleep.
Now, if you'll excuse me I have to time out and catch wrestling on at 9.
posted by Ryan at 6:01 PM
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