Sunset
Jane waved good-bye from the steps of her door. The car had already zoomed out of their driveway by her third wave. He’s late again. “That man…” she sighed. She walks inside and straight to the kitchen. Or Hiroshima. Either way, it’s a mess. “I hate it when he wakes up late. Just makes my job harder when he leaves. Good thing the kids aren’t here anymore.”
This is her life now. Married. Kids at college. Never needed to work. She spends her mornings cleaning up the mess. By noon, she does her shopping. By 3, he calls up Louie and asks if he’s coming home before dinnertime. He hardly says yes but if he does, she needs time to prepare just in case. She’s a model for the 21st century housewife in suburban America.
She picks up the newspaper sprawled on the kitchen floor. The last thing she reads is the front page. It’s straight to the horoscopes for her.
Libra
“You will receive a message from someone you do not expect. Take the time to listen. Great wisdom is gleaned from the knowledge of others.”
“You also said ‘I’d receive an unexpected gift.’ All I got was a lollipop that Louie picked up. I don’t know why I bother with these things”. She drops the newspaper and looks at the surrounding devastation.
“Pheeew…” She lies on the sofa after a hard mornings work. A quick glance on the coffee table reveals the enemy of all suburban families. “Oh my God…. When will this end?!” One quick cigarette and she’s off to the cabinet to get the vacuum.
“That’s funny. I could’ve sworn I left it here.” She picks up the phone and calls her man.
“Hello Lou? Have you seen the vacuum anywhere?”
“It’s in the attic honey. Had to make room for my golf bags.”
One thousand curses later and she’s covering her mouth from all the dust in the attic. She picks up the vacuum and start heading out when she catches something in the corner of her eye. A double look and she sees a star drawn with a sharpie on the side of a box. “I don’t remember drawing that.” Eight times out of ten she would ignore this and go to her cleaning. But something piqued her interest. She grabs the box and slowly opens it. Inside are mountains of letters. Friends, family, birthday cards, wedding cards. “Oh it’s my letter box. But how did that drawing get there...”
She spent the next hour pouring through old memories. One minute she’s 21 again, just got back from the beach and listening to her best friend expressing her desire to go back. Next she’s getting married, a round of well wishes and hope you last forever. She reaches inside the box to grab some more. Goes all the way to the bottom and grabs a handful.
“Ouch! What the hell?!!”
She looks inside and finds her broken nail embedded on a gap on the corner of the box. “How did that happen?” She grabs her nail and notices the bottom of the box lifting up.
A few more violent shakes and the bottom gives way. A tape crashes on the floor along with the bottom of the box. “What’s this? No labels.” She quickly flies through another box and takes out their old VCR player.
A face she hasn’t seen in 10 years sits down on a chair in front of the camera.
“Hey. By the time your watching this it must be years since I last saw you. I hope your doing ok. You might not like the secrecy of it all, but I didn’t want to get in the way of your life when I did this. So I had one of your friends hide it for me where you can’t find it, but will somehow be near you. I’m doing this so that I can say good bye properly. Not through words on a screen but with my voice and my face in front of you. I believe we deserve as much even if you don’t.”
“I felt different this time. Out of the dozens of times we’ve said good-bye, this felt different. Is that a sign that this is the last? I don’t know. I’m usually spot on with my feelings about us. Good or Bad.”
“Anyway, if this is the last then we had a good run at it. There were a lot of problems we had to deal with, past and present but I know we tried our best. These past few months, I’ve felt like our relationship was like it was only two months in, not 5 years. This probably makes it even harder to say this. I really thought we had a great chance this time. I’m ever the optimist when it comes to us. I lose hope but when I see you, I think right away that we have a chance to make it this time around.”
“I guess our problems were just too much for the both of us to bear. So much has not been said over the years that it has been hard to move forward. Me most of all I guess. I admit I was a bit hesitant to get back together, but after awhile I felt better than, um, good. Hehe. I don’t know what I’m doing. Like the last time I saw you.”
RIIIIING
“Shut up!!” she screams at the telephone.
“I thought I would be doing something that I could tell my kids ‘I remember the time when I did the craziest thing in the world for your Mom’. It turned out to be the stupidest. I don’t regret it. And I’m not faulting you either. I came in with no expectations. I came in not to make things up, or save our relationship. But as one human being to the other, to show compassion in the others time of need. You, most of all, mean more to me…. I just wanted to be there for you, like I kept telling you over and over.”
She stares at the screen without blinking, eyes wide open and welling up.
“All I ever wanted was to be there for you in your darkest hour. No plans. No hidden agendas. I was hurt when you wouldn’t even see me. I understood. I did a lot of thinking that night. I realize that this relationship was not working out for the both of us. You couldn’t stand our trust issues, I cound’t get over our past… we don’t talk things over. We lack that communication and trust that is needed for a healthy relationship. We relied on our feelings for each other to see us through but you are right. It’s not enough. Maybe for that one magical night where everything’s going right. But for the daily grind of a relationship, especially one like ours, it’s not going to work.”
“Sigh. I would’ve gone the distance with you. I didn’t need anyone else. You were my only o..
Sssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
“Wha, What the hell?” She gives the TV a few good bangs. “What’s going on???”
It’s almost dinnertime and there are no noisy pots and pans. No familiar aroma’s that you smell when you walk around a neighborhood. Stew in one house, some barbecue grill in the other. Laughter, singing. All the things that signal the end of a workday. For one house, darkness fills the porch. Except for a flicker of light at the top room.
Jane had been watching the tape for hours. Her life had grinded to a halt. Her focus was to the person on her TV, watching in the bedroom where she slept with her husband. She stared at the person, someone she hadn’t seen in years. “Why now?” Her emotion jumped from sadness, curiosity, to anger.
“Are you eating dinner here tonight?”
“No honey, I got work to do. I might get home really late.”
“That’s ok. I was planning on having dinner with the girls if you weren’t coming home. So I guess I’ll see you tonight?”
Yeah that’s fine. Look I gotta go. See you tonight.”
“I miss you a lot”
“Miss you too. Gotta go.”
Her hearts racing. Her thoughts are going on overdrive. “Does he realize anything? Was I too obvious? No, too busy. Still, I need to cover myself. Haven’t had to do this in a long time.”
Her car hums on the inside and screams on the other. Which is the complete opposite of her. Her face is stoic. Unemotional. But inside, her heart beats faster and faster as her car zooms in the highway. She’s spent, emotionally. Her eyes have nothing more to give. She’s thinking a thousand thoughts.
“All I ever wanted was to be there for you in your darkest hour”
Why now?
I thought I would be doing something that I could tell my kids ‘I remember the time when I did the craziest thing in the world for your Mom’”
Why?
“It turned out to be the stupidest.”
Leave me…
She quickly turns the car to the right. She just misses hitting the bumper of the Toyota in front of her. A quick glance at her odometer. “105. I need to stay alive to figure this out.” She thinks to herself but now she decides to shut the voices down and reach her destination in silence.
Her cars rolls to a stop at a house in the middle of a neighborhood that looks just like hers. Nice lawn at the front with stepping stones that lead to the front door. A two car garage to the side. The lights are still open at the front. She rings the bell and out comes her friend to answer the door.
‘Jane! What a surprise come here girl.” A quick hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Sorry if I came over without letting you know, Mary. I just needed someone to..”
“You look terrible did you guys fight again?”
“No, it’s not about him. It’s something else.”
She pulls out the tape and looks at Mary. “You need to look at this.”
“Sigh. I would’ve gone the distance with you. I didn’t need anyone else. You were my only o..
Ssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
Mary still hasn’t blinked, eyes wide open. “Oh my..”
“You were the last person to see him. Do you know where he is? Whatishedoing?PleaseMaryyouhavetotellmeIneed…”
“Ok calm down, girl. Breathe..” She closes her eyes and takes one deep breathe. Jane quickly follows and makes a violent exhale.
“Look, that was years ago. I haven’t seen him in almost 4 years. And that was in New York, too. Jane, for God’s sakes your married, you’ve got kids, you lead a great life. Now isn’t the time to chase after old lovers. Do you even understand what he’s trying to do?”
“Sigh. No.. I don’t know. I just…”
“Jane. Snap out of it. It’s been over for 10 years. I thought you were over him? This shouldn’t affect you in any way whatsoever.”
“It’s not…”
“Uh-huh. And my tits have implants on them. Jane. Girl. He’s trying to have some sense of closure. The way you broke up… Maybe it shouldn’t have happened like that but it did. And all he’s trying to do is put it all out in the air since you guys never really did. And he kept it close. Maybe you’d find it. Maybe you wouldn’t. This tape…is just the end. For the two of you. Don’t go about and thinking you want to talk to him after all this time. You have too much to lose."
Jane looks down and cries some more.
“Oh girl. Just let it go. You have a great man that’ll be home soon. You raised two great kids. Your life couldn’t be any better.”
“I know. It’s just…”
“What? Why are you so affected about something that happened 10 years ago?”
“I.. I let go…” She wipes the tear from her eye. “I let go and have never made a decision that I regretted so much in my life. I want to see him and tell him that.”
“Jane..” Her friend comes close to hug her tight. Mary’s mind starts racing.
“Please help me. I need to talk to him.” She whispers, not of want, but that’s all her voice can muster.
Mary looks at her friend straight in the eye. She just looks at her for a minute but to her it seemed like forever. Mary gets up and walks toward the kitchen.
“Wait right here.”
Jane looks back and she can see Mary rummaging through stacks of paper. She finds a pen and starts jotting down something from a daily planner. She closes it and looks back at Jane. Mary grabs the paper and heads back to where Jane is.
“I realize that I’m not really helping by telling you to forget about him. You obviously won’t listen to me. But on the other hand you are my friend and I don’t like to see you suffer like this. So, I’ll leave this up to you.” She hands Mary the paper. It has numbers on it. “No, that’s not his number. I don’t know that. That is a friend of his. Or, a friend of his back then. Don’t ask, long story. Anyway, he might know things better than me. His name’s Gary. That’s the best I can do.”
Jane stares at the paper.
“Now listen to me.” Mary grabs Jane by the arms and looks directly at her. “I’m giving you this so you can think things through. You have a decision to make. This number might lead to him. It might not. But once you call him, you’re going down one path. As your friend for a long time, I strongly suggest you take the other path.”
“And which path is that?”
“Tear this paper and trash the tape.”
Jane starts walking out the stepping-stones and looks back at Mary. She gives a tired wave. “Call you tomorrow!” Mary shouts as Jane reaches the sidewalk. She gets inside her car, leans back on the seat, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She opens her eyes and looks at the piece of paper that holds the fates of the people around her; her most of all. She hasn’t let go of it since Mary gave it to her.
“This is going to be one long drive.” Mary thinks to herself.
Alone again with her thoughts, Jane listens to her heart and head battle it out inside. She comes to a stop and closes her eyes again. Memories flash before her. She’s inside his car and she takes a picture while he drives. Louie kneels down in Hawaii and pops the question. She’s lying in bed with him, both naked and soaking the afterglow. She looks out her kitchen window and sees Louie playing with the kids. She’s in a restaurant celebrating her Grand Fathers birthday with him. Her Mom and Dad are giving him a hard time about something. Louie smiles, after hearing her Mom and Dad give their approval. She’s in a sofa in her old house and he’s sitting next to her. They’re watching Ally Mcbeal. She leans toward him and they kiss for the very first time. All she sees is darkness…
HOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKK
She opens her eyes in a jolt. The lights green. She quickly puts it in gear and drives off. She clutches the paper tight. “It’s pretty late.” She thinks to herself. “ Gary might be asleep.” She suddenly thinks about something and drives faster. “He might be home already.”
She pulls up her car on the driveway and opens the garage. Louie’s car has already been covered. “Shit” and puts her hand in her head. She parks the car and opens the light. A quick check on her eyes reveal puffy tired eyes. She puts some powder beneath her eyes to mask the emotions that she has been going through. She gets out of the car and runs inside.
All the lights at the house where off. She drops her purse on the kitchen table and looks if he’s been rummaging through the fridge. Nothing. Everything’s as she left it. She takes a peek up the stairs and hears the TV on. She climbs up and expects the worse. He never likes it when she comes home later than him.
The door was half open. She slowly opens it to find Louie watching the discovery channel. “Come here honey, you’re missing the best part. Did you know they actually found the Holy Grail? They even have a church in Spain with a cup!”
“You look like your having fun with that.”
“Not as much as you had with the girls.”
“Sorry honey, you know how we are when we start talking.” She gives him a kiss on the forehead.
“It’s ok honey. I missed you.” He looks up and smiles at her. And in that instant, she knew.
She looks up at him and waves her hands at his face. He doesn’t flinch. After 2 hours she finally gets him to sleep. “Mmmm that was good.” She slowly creeps out of bed, puts on her nighties and heads down to the kitchen. She opens the lights and goes straight to her purse. She takes out the tape and grabs the paper that Mary had given her. She rifles through her purse again and feels around for her lighter. She finds it and immediately lights it. She looks at it for a second and then she takes the paper and burns the far edge. She watches it burn and quickly throws it in the sink. She takes what’s left and throws it in the trash. Her attention now turns to the tape. She looks at it for a minute longer than the burning flame.
The attic door slowly opens. A hand sticks out, then another. Jane pushes herself up and into the attic. She feels around the walls until she feels what she is looking for. The lights come on and she quickly spots the box with the star on the side. She walks slowly towards it and kneels down in front of it. She puts the tape inside as he found it and takes the board and covers it up. She puts all the letters back in place and covers the box. Then she stands up, turns around, shuts the light and closes the attic door.
This is her life now. Married. Kids at college. Never needed to work. She spends her mornings cleaning up the mess. By noon, she does her shopping. By 3, he calls up Louie and asks if he’s coming home before dinnertime. He hardly says yes but if he does, she needs time to prepare just in case. She’s a model for the 21st century housewife in suburban America.
She picks up the newspaper sprawled on the kitchen floor. The last thing she reads is the front page. It’s straight to the horoscopes for her.
Libra
“You will receive a message from someone you do not expect. Take the time to listen. Great wisdom is gleaned from the knowledge of others.”
“You also said ‘I’d receive an unexpected gift.’ All I got was a lollipop that Louie picked up. I don’t know why I bother with these things”. She drops the newspaper and looks at the surrounding devastation.
“Pheeew…” She lies on the sofa after a hard mornings work. A quick glance on the coffee table reveals the enemy of all suburban families. “Oh my God…. When will this end?!” One quick cigarette and she’s off to the cabinet to get the vacuum.
“That’s funny. I could’ve sworn I left it here.” She picks up the phone and calls her man.
“Hello Lou? Have you seen the vacuum anywhere?”
“It’s in the attic honey. Had to make room for my golf bags.”
One thousand curses later and she’s covering her mouth from all the dust in the attic. She picks up the vacuum and start heading out when she catches something in the corner of her eye. A double look and she sees a star drawn with a sharpie on the side of a box. “I don’t remember drawing that.” Eight times out of ten she would ignore this and go to her cleaning. But something piqued her interest. She grabs the box and slowly opens it. Inside are mountains of letters. Friends, family, birthday cards, wedding cards. “Oh it’s my letter box. But how did that drawing get there...”
She spent the next hour pouring through old memories. One minute she’s 21 again, just got back from the beach and listening to her best friend expressing her desire to go back. Next she’s getting married, a round of well wishes and hope you last forever. She reaches inside the box to grab some more. Goes all the way to the bottom and grabs a handful.
“Ouch! What the hell?!!”
She looks inside and finds her broken nail embedded on a gap on the corner of the box. “How did that happen?” She grabs her nail and notices the bottom of the box lifting up.
A few more violent shakes and the bottom gives way. A tape crashes on the floor along with the bottom of the box. “What’s this? No labels.” She quickly flies through another box and takes out their old VCR player.
A face she hasn’t seen in 10 years sits down on a chair in front of the camera.
“Hey. By the time your watching this it must be years since I last saw you. I hope your doing ok. You might not like the secrecy of it all, but I didn’t want to get in the way of your life when I did this. So I had one of your friends hide it for me where you can’t find it, but will somehow be near you. I’m doing this so that I can say good bye properly. Not through words on a screen but with my voice and my face in front of you. I believe we deserve as much even if you don’t.”
“I felt different this time. Out of the dozens of times we’ve said good-bye, this felt different. Is that a sign that this is the last? I don’t know. I’m usually spot on with my feelings about us. Good or Bad.”
“Anyway, if this is the last then we had a good run at it. There were a lot of problems we had to deal with, past and present but I know we tried our best. These past few months, I’ve felt like our relationship was like it was only two months in, not 5 years. This probably makes it even harder to say this. I really thought we had a great chance this time. I’m ever the optimist when it comes to us. I lose hope but when I see you, I think right away that we have a chance to make it this time around.”
“I guess our problems were just too much for the both of us to bear. So much has not been said over the years that it has been hard to move forward. Me most of all I guess. I admit I was a bit hesitant to get back together, but after awhile I felt better than, um, good. Hehe. I don’t know what I’m doing. Like the last time I saw you.”
RIIIIING
“Shut up!!” she screams at the telephone.
“I thought I would be doing something that I could tell my kids ‘I remember the time when I did the craziest thing in the world for your Mom’. It turned out to be the stupidest. I don’t regret it. And I’m not faulting you either. I came in with no expectations. I came in not to make things up, or save our relationship. But as one human being to the other, to show compassion in the others time of need. You, most of all, mean more to me…. I just wanted to be there for you, like I kept telling you over and over.”
She stares at the screen without blinking, eyes wide open and welling up.
“All I ever wanted was to be there for you in your darkest hour. No plans. No hidden agendas. I was hurt when you wouldn’t even see me. I understood. I did a lot of thinking that night. I realize that this relationship was not working out for the both of us. You couldn’t stand our trust issues, I cound’t get over our past… we don’t talk things over. We lack that communication and trust that is needed for a healthy relationship. We relied on our feelings for each other to see us through but you are right. It’s not enough. Maybe for that one magical night where everything’s going right. But for the daily grind of a relationship, especially one like ours, it’s not going to work.”
“Sigh. I would’ve gone the distance with you. I didn’t need anyone else. You were my only o..
Sssssssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
“Wha, What the hell?” She gives the TV a few good bangs. “What’s going on???”
It’s almost dinnertime and there are no noisy pots and pans. No familiar aroma’s that you smell when you walk around a neighborhood. Stew in one house, some barbecue grill in the other. Laughter, singing. All the things that signal the end of a workday. For one house, darkness fills the porch. Except for a flicker of light at the top room.
Jane had been watching the tape for hours. Her life had grinded to a halt. Her focus was to the person on her TV, watching in the bedroom where she slept with her husband. She stared at the person, someone she hadn’t seen in years. “Why now?” Her emotion jumped from sadness, curiosity, to anger.
“Are you eating dinner here tonight?”
“No honey, I got work to do. I might get home really late.”
“That’s ok. I was planning on having dinner with the girls if you weren’t coming home. So I guess I’ll see you tonight?”
Yeah that’s fine. Look I gotta go. See you tonight.”
“I miss you a lot”
“Miss you too. Gotta go.”
Her hearts racing. Her thoughts are going on overdrive. “Does he realize anything? Was I too obvious? No, too busy. Still, I need to cover myself. Haven’t had to do this in a long time.”
Her car hums on the inside and screams on the other. Which is the complete opposite of her. Her face is stoic. Unemotional. But inside, her heart beats faster and faster as her car zooms in the highway. She’s spent, emotionally. Her eyes have nothing more to give. She’s thinking a thousand thoughts.
“All I ever wanted was to be there for you in your darkest hour”
Why now?
I thought I would be doing something that I could tell my kids ‘I remember the time when I did the craziest thing in the world for your Mom’”
Why?
“It turned out to be the stupidest.”
Leave me…
She quickly turns the car to the right. She just misses hitting the bumper of the Toyota in front of her. A quick glance at her odometer. “105. I need to stay alive to figure this out.” She thinks to herself but now she decides to shut the voices down and reach her destination in silence.
Her cars rolls to a stop at a house in the middle of a neighborhood that looks just like hers. Nice lawn at the front with stepping stones that lead to the front door. A two car garage to the side. The lights are still open at the front. She rings the bell and out comes her friend to answer the door.
‘Jane! What a surprise come here girl.” A quick hug and kiss on the cheek.
“Sorry if I came over without letting you know, Mary. I just needed someone to..”
“You look terrible did you guys fight again?”
“No, it’s not about him. It’s something else.”
She pulls out the tape and looks at Mary. “You need to look at this.”
“Sigh. I would’ve gone the distance with you. I didn’t need anyone else. You were my only o..
Ssssssssssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhh
Mary still hasn’t blinked, eyes wide open. “Oh my..”
“You were the last person to see him. Do you know where he is? Whatishedoing?PleaseMaryyouhavetotellmeIneed…”
“Ok calm down, girl. Breathe..” She closes her eyes and takes one deep breathe. Jane quickly follows and makes a violent exhale.
“Look, that was years ago. I haven’t seen him in almost 4 years. And that was in New York, too. Jane, for God’s sakes your married, you’ve got kids, you lead a great life. Now isn’t the time to chase after old lovers. Do you even understand what he’s trying to do?”
“Sigh. No.. I don’t know. I just…”
“Jane. Snap out of it. It’s been over for 10 years. I thought you were over him? This shouldn’t affect you in any way whatsoever.”
“It’s not…”
“Uh-huh. And my tits have implants on them. Jane. Girl. He’s trying to have some sense of closure. The way you broke up… Maybe it shouldn’t have happened like that but it did. And all he’s trying to do is put it all out in the air since you guys never really did. And he kept it close. Maybe you’d find it. Maybe you wouldn’t. This tape…is just the end. For the two of you. Don’t go about and thinking you want to talk to him after all this time. You have too much to lose."
Jane looks down and cries some more.
“Oh girl. Just let it go. You have a great man that’ll be home soon. You raised two great kids. Your life couldn’t be any better.”
“I know. It’s just…”
“What? Why are you so affected about something that happened 10 years ago?”
“I.. I let go…” She wipes the tear from her eye. “I let go and have never made a decision that I regretted so much in my life. I want to see him and tell him that.”
“Jane..” Her friend comes close to hug her tight. Mary’s mind starts racing.
“Please help me. I need to talk to him.” She whispers, not of want, but that’s all her voice can muster.
Mary looks at her friend straight in the eye. She just looks at her for a minute but to her it seemed like forever. Mary gets up and walks toward the kitchen.
“Wait right here.”
Jane looks back and she can see Mary rummaging through stacks of paper. She finds a pen and starts jotting down something from a daily planner. She closes it and looks back at Jane. Mary grabs the paper and heads back to where Jane is.
“I realize that I’m not really helping by telling you to forget about him. You obviously won’t listen to me. But on the other hand you are my friend and I don’t like to see you suffer like this. So, I’ll leave this up to you.” She hands Mary the paper. It has numbers on it. “No, that’s not his number. I don’t know that. That is a friend of his. Or, a friend of his back then. Don’t ask, long story. Anyway, he might know things better than me. His name’s Gary. That’s the best I can do.”
Jane stares at the paper.
“Now listen to me.” Mary grabs Jane by the arms and looks directly at her. “I’m giving you this so you can think things through. You have a decision to make. This number might lead to him. It might not. But once you call him, you’re going down one path. As your friend for a long time, I strongly suggest you take the other path.”
“And which path is that?”
“Tear this paper and trash the tape.”
Jane starts walking out the stepping-stones and looks back at Mary. She gives a tired wave. “Call you tomorrow!” Mary shouts as Jane reaches the sidewalk. She gets inside her car, leans back on the seat, closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. She opens her eyes and looks at the piece of paper that holds the fates of the people around her; her most of all. She hasn’t let go of it since Mary gave it to her.
“This is going to be one long drive.” Mary thinks to herself.
Alone again with her thoughts, Jane listens to her heart and head battle it out inside. She comes to a stop and closes her eyes again. Memories flash before her. She’s inside his car and she takes a picture while he drives. Louie kneels down in Hawaii and pops the question. She’s lying in bed with him, both naked and soaking the afterglow. She looks out her kitchen window and sees Louie playing with the kids. She’s in a restaurant celebrating her Grand Fathers birthday with him. Her Mom and Dad are giving him a hard time about something. Louie smiles, after hearing her Mom and Dad give their approval. She’s in a sofa in her old house and he’s sitting next to her. They’re watching Ally Mcbeal. She leans toward him and they kiss for the very first time. All she sees is darkness…
HOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNKKKKKK
She opens her eyes in a jolt. The lights green. She quickly puts it in gear and drives off. She clutches the paper tight. “It’s pretty late.” She thinks to herself. “ Gary might be asleep.” She suddenly thinks about something and drives faster. “He might be home already.”
She pulls up her car on the driveway and opens the garage. Louie’s car has already been covered. “Shit” and puts her hand in her head. She parks the car and opens the light. A quick check on her eyes reveal puffy tired eyes. She puts some powder beneath her eyes to mask the emotions that she has been going through. She gets out of the car and runs inside.
All the lights at the house where off. She drops her purse on the kitchen table and looks if he’s been rummaging through the fridge. Nothing. Everything’s as she left it. She takes a peek up the stairs and hears the TV on. She climbs up and expects the worse. He never likes it when she comes home later than him.
The door was half open. She slowly opens it to find Louie watching the discovery channel. “Come here honey, you’re missing the best part. Did you know they actually found the Holy Grail? They even have a church in Spain with a cup!”
“You look like your having fun with that.”
“Not as much as you had with the girls.”
“Sorry honey, you know how we are when we start talking.” She gives him a kiss on the forehead.
“It’s ok honey. I missed you.” He looks up and smiles at her. And in that instant, she knew.
She looks up at him and waves her hands at his face. He doesn’t flinch. After 2 hours she finally gets him to sleep. “Mmmm that was good.” She slowly creeps out of bed, puts on her nighties and heads down to the kitchen. She opens the lights and goes straight to her purse. She takes out the tape and grabs the paper that Mary had given her. She rifles through her purse again and feels around for her lighter. She finds it and immediately lights it. She looks at it for a second and then she takes the paper and burns the far edge. She watches it burn and quickly throws it in the sink. She takes what’s left and throws it in the trash. Her attention now turns to the tape. She looks at it for a minute longer than the burning flame.
The attic door slowly opens. A hand sticks out, then another. Jane pushes herself up and into the attic. She feels around the walls until she feels what she is looking for. The lights come on and she quickly spots the box with the star on the side. She walks slowly towards it and kneels down in front of it. She puts the tape inside as he found it and takes the board and covers it up. She puts all the letters back in place and covers the box. Then she stands up, turns around, shuts the light and closes the attic door.
posted by Ryan at 8:39 PM
2 Comments:
you have become a wonderful writer my friend. the imagination is a powerful thing. it is a gift granted only to a few. i'm glad to see you use your gift!!-pia
From Chris, Jen's alter ego.
"The story seemed good. He likes how easily it flowed. Like how the characters talked. As a writer, that's something I always have a problem with. I'm such a structural writer myself that when I have conversations between characters, it seems fake, whereas with your characters it seemed very natural."
"the character development could have been fleshed out, it was very stereotypical, and I like the surprise ending because you seem to be heading in one direction"
"but when she got home, you turned the story around, but you have to flesh out that part of the story more, bu i think you need to make that last moment extra special to emphasize that she "got it" - something about their eyes meeting, or something that he does for her that sparks some love between the two that reminds her of their love for one another"
"although I got what you were doing there, I think you could have emphasized/fleshed it out a little bit more so that it punched home with crytalline clarity the entire point of that story. Then her putting everything back would have been the icing on the cake"
Oh and he thought Louie was an asshole.
Post a Comment
<< Home